16. Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing
Another 70’s juggernaut. Although other commercial dressings (Wish-Bone’s Italian, Kraft Thousand Island, etc.) were big sellers, most households could make their own versions. Not so with Hidden Valley Ranch, which took the nation by storm after Clorox puchased the brand from a former hobo in 1972. Buttermilk sales skyrocketed with the growing popularity of the original dry mix packet. First exposure was often as a dip for raw veggies, along with some brie and cheap chardonnay.
Kraft’s revenge against Hellmann’s is best served cold. Also known as Trailer Park Alioli. A Waldorf Salad can be made with mayo or yogurt, with Miracle Whip it becomes a White Trash Salad. An acquired taste, easy to mock, hard to swallow. Can become a dealbreaker if spotted in a fridge on a first date. Its defenders are often Libertarians.
If a condiment could somehow embody the ethereal it would be mayo. Who can deny Hellmann’s motto “Bring Out The Best?” Marriages have been threatened by adding too much to the tuna fish. Mayo often gets a bum rap when people get the squirts after a picnic. Everyone knows how to make their own, but they never do. Many teenage jokes involve mayo.