From the beginning of civilization man has sought ways to make his food taste better. The discovery of salt created the first communities and the spice trade facilitated the exchange of culture and ideas around the world. From mustards and dressings to chutneys and salsas, condiments reflect humanity in all its wonderful diversity. We are condiments and condiments are us, enjoy!
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35. Sambal Oelek

Just as sriracha refers to a style of hot sauce, sambal is a generic name for ground chili paste with many different varieties. The oelek refers to the ancient mortar and pestle used to make it. In the States, Huy Fong’s rooster rules the roost just like with sriracha. Burns going down and coming out, but not unpleasantly so. The Sambals were fierce natives of the Philippines who executed murderers by drilling a hole at the top of the skull and scooping out the brains.

31. Trappey’s Red Devil Cayenne Pepper Sauce

Accused of treason by the Avery Island bunch, B.F. Trappey had ten sons to help him get the business going. After a century long legal battle, the McIlhenny’s actually controlled the brand in the 90’s before selling it off. Trappey’s is still a very working class hot sauce found throughout the south, mild yet Lucifer approved. The original Anchor Bar wing recipe calls for Franks Red Hot, supposedly.

26. Tapatío Salsa Picante

Although made in Southern California, Tapatío is very much a Mexican hot sauce and is similar to Valentina or Cholula. While a bottle of salsa picante sits on every table in Mexico, salsa crudas or frescas are almost always freshly made, only north of the border are bottled “chunky” salsas popular. Tapatío refers to a native of Guadalajara.

24. Valentina Chili Powder

Made in Guadalajara, the Spanish label says “salsa en polvo”. Although Valentina is better known to gabachos for their excellent salsa picante, the chili powder is fantastic sprinkled on soups and stews such as cocido, menudo, pozole or consomme de chivo. The Japanese share this dried chili enthusiasm with their own mixtures shaken on udon soups. Carl Jung would be pleased.

22. Crystal Hot Sauce

Baumer Foods desertion of New Orleans after Katrina is shameful. Modest in heat and price but rich in flavor, Crystal is the true Louisiana hot sauce, or at least was. The iconic neon sign that hung over I-10 will be restored and preside over new apartment complexes built on the site of the former factory. What the renters will do for employment has not been determined.

14. Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce

It’s telling that chef Rick Bayless can’t live without it. Sriracha is the generic name for Thai style hot sauce throughout Southeast Asia. In the US, the cock rules and Huy Fong Foods really have no competition. Some call it “rooster sauce.” There are five different languages on every bottle. Huy Fong was the name of the freighter that company founder David Tran left Vietnam on. Rosemead CA is fifty percent Asian and noodle soup heaven.

11. Pace Picante Sauce

Despite huge sales, no commercial salsa brand in the US has yet to achieve iconic status. Pace’s original ad campaign was a forerunner of red/blue state political strategy. Pace is to salsa what Tex Mex is to cuisine, dubious at best. Fresh salsa can be hazardous to one’s health. The founder David Pace liked his coffee spiked with picante sauce.

6. Tabasco

More fetish object than hot sauce, the two ounce bottle rivals Heinz Ketchup’s sublime design. Low on the Scoville Scale, only the salt is exclusively from Avery Island. The Mcllhenny family owns all the stock and are not fond of the nutria. Tabasco has been consumed in Tora Bora and Outer Space. The mash is hard on machinery. Despite several new versions, there is only one Tabasco.